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Around the year 1915, the electric clothes dryer was invented.  At the same time, a conspiracy was born.  Not by the government, not by humans for that matter . . . no, it was artificial intelligence in it’s infancy.  All the dryers got together; Kenmore, GE, Whirpool and other name brand dryers that would like to remain nameless, and they conspired against the ones who gave them life.  The plan was simple yet brilliant — steal one sock every so often.

Head Dryer:  Eat just one.  Do whatever you have to, to drive them crazy.  Let them stumble around with their one sock held high wondering what has happened.

Nephew Dryer:  I will laugh to myself as they push me away from the wall to look for what is lost.  I’ll smile as they poke old hockey sticks or rulers under me, probing for what I’ve hidden.

Head Dryer: But keep them guessing.  This can’t happen every load.  Let them get comfortable, unaware.  Watch them as they pair their socks with a cockiness one might expect from this species.

Nephew Dryer:  Then strike?

Head Dryer: Then strike!

You’ve heard it here first.  I’ve uncovered this age old conspiracy and I say its time we take back our socks!  Let’s let our dryers know that we’ve had enough!  Say “yes,” to air drying those darned things!  Hang them from your showers, your railings and clothes lines.  Let’s show them we will no longer be victim to their evil plan. Show your socks people!

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